Grief Takes No Holidays-REACH tips to tender grief December 17 2015
Dr. Jane Cheng
A. Problems during Holiday—Do you know anyone who suffer from loss? Do You miss any family members or friends who cannot be with you this year?
For those experiencing sorrow, whether through death, separation, divorce, illness, job loss or relocation, the glittering commercialism and unrelenting cheer of the holiday season can be stressful.
Do you find yourself feeling sad, depressed, grief or loss?
Facing Thanksgiving Day and Christmas with an empty chair at the table can make unbearable grief so much worse, says by Karen Silbert, MD, Associate Professor of Anesthesiology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, who suffered the loss of her five-month-old daughter.
Do you know how long it will take for you to recover from your loss?
Many people believe that anyone who has experienced great loss should be “over it” in six months or so. If only that were true. Emotions of the recently bereaved are terribly raw. It can be difficult for them to cope in social situations during the holidays, when tears would be out of place, Silbert says. At holiday time, many who are dealing with loss are often caught in a dilemma between the need to grieve and the pressure to “get into the spirit” of the season.
But holidays can stimulate memories and a renewed wave of pain, which feels even more pronounced. And it’s not only holidays that may trigger deep feelings of new or renewed grief. Birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions present a challenge for many, even after a number of years have passed.
While the experience of grief may ebb and flow, we should not expect it to altogether disappear, say grief counselors and experts. While it’s normal to hurt during the holidays. it’s also possible for the human heart to hope and heal.
I have worked with many people who suffer from loss of their loved ones over the past decade as a professional counselor, a pastoral counselor and a pastor. I know holiday is difficult time for many of you who miss your loved ones.
I offer grief coach to help you if you suffer from loss of relationship, job or income. It takes time to receive healing to restore hope and strength for your new future.
Here are some suggestions from grief expert Dr. Judith Johnson, author, educator, life coach and interfaith minister, to help the bereaved maintain inner balance during the holidays and also from me Dr. Jane Cheng.
REACH formula to Recover from Grief:
1. Reach out to friends, family, clergy and anyone who can give you comfort and solace during this difficult time.
2. BeEase with self--However, pay attention and be deeply honest with yourself about what you need to do and not do through the holidays or other significant occasions. Be patient, kind and compassionate with yourself about what is true for you.
3. Self Care-Take loving care of yourself. Grief expresses in many ways. Give yourself permission to feel lethargic, grumpy or out of sorts. Stay focused on what is happening inside you and tend to yourself as you would anyone else you love deeply. Have a healthy diet, good sleep, and have time for your alone especially if you are a care taker.
4. Anticipate and plan ahead. “Don’t wait for others to make plans for you that may or may not have anything at all to do with what you really need,” Dr. Johnson said. “Face your truth and communicate what you need.” Anticipate your grief emotion and plan ahead to connect with your loved one during holiday to avoid being lonely.
5. Hope- Make room for your grief or sadness. “Grief is a very private matter and the holidays have a way of magnifying it,” Dr. Johnson counsels. “Welcome your grief. Your sadness and tears are expressions of the healing process.” Be open to your grief and trust that it is healing.
Practice prayer, meditation, exercise or quiet time to regain hope from higher power.
I am here for you if you need to book a session to talk to me to transform your life to regain hope, love and light to move forward.
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Dr. Jane Cheng, Speaker, Author, Mentor
Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications